If you’ve got to be a drunk asshole…

Don’t ever get to thinking that the ideas you had while you were drunk were any good.

Unless you’re already an asshole while you’re sober. In which case, you’re probably one of these guys: http://www.waronterrortheboardgame.com/

 

What the hell is this?

Man accused of faking retardation – for twenty years

Didn’t I see this on Just Shoot Me about three years ago?

 

Lefty bloggers are losing their goddamn minds

Death threats, lies, and sockpuppets galore.

The Anchoress says that we can no longer chalk this up to simple immaturity and lefty petulance; I’m inclined to agree, but what immaturity there is seems to have a familiar ring to it.  The Left is acting as if the political power it does not have is being wrongfully denied it, and they are doing exactly what Jules Winfield called it: ”striking down among you, with great vengeance and furious anger, those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers.”

Because they think that’s what we’re trying to do to them – we discredit their arguments, and they see it as an attack on their lives, an attempt to “poison and destroy”.  (I’m sure I’ve talked about this before.)  They are convinced not only that they are objectively right, but that we are all part of a conspiracy to deny them the political supremacy they not only yearn for but deserve.

If you want to understand the Left, listen to the Doors playing “When The Music’s Over”, and listen to Jim Morrison scream: “WE WANT THE WORLD AND WE WANT IT… NOW.” That’s the pluperfect glimpse into the mind of a Lefty blogger – perennially disenfranchised, endlessly resentful, and ever more willing to do what it takes to silence opposition.

 

Repost from a comment on another site; liked my turn of phrase a little too much

“Of course the Left’s been spoiled.  Their grandparents made the mistake of spoiling their parents (the Greatest Generation’s one big error), and now their parents spoiled them.  So when millions of kids of Woodstock attendees grow up and find that the world is a lot tougher outside their home, they can’t hack it; instead of adapting to a harder world, they demand that the world adapt to softer people.”

 

Pride Celebration 2006… um, okay

http://specials.msn.com/pridecelebration

You know, I have no problem with gay people being gay. They can love whomever they want and do whatever they like behind closed doors, as long as they don't go describing it to me in great detail. I DON'T CARE.

But the problem with celebrating your sexual orientation in public is that there are some people who take the opportunity to make it into some kind of sexual Mardi Gras; apparently, they want the entire world to know what's going on behind those closed door.  Those unfortunate displays of "pride" that look nothing like displays of social and personal responsibility. (I recall my favorite headline from The Onion: Gay Pride Parade Sets Mainstream Acceptance Of Gays Back 50 Years.)

There are homosexuals that behave like normal human beings; normal, getting-along behavior has nothing to do with "being in the closet," and likewise, I can't imagine why being openly gay means being FLAMBOYANTLY gay.  If the GLBT community can prove that they can behave like responsible human beings - and not let down our faith in them by indulging in all this suggestive bacchanalia one week a year, every year – then the chances of gay marriage being legalized improve considerably.

More on this later, perhaps, once I get my thoughts better organized.

 

The purest laugh laughs at that which is not funny. – Samuel Beckett, paraphrased

Humor sites all over the web are turning on the Administration. I don’t claim to understand why. What I fail to understand is the VENOM with which they attack; it’s like all the humor disappears for a brief instant before the gleeful, happy irreverence comes back. There’s the funny and sarcastic captions for the car crashes and wake-up pranks, and then comes “YET ANOTHER REASON WHY THIS FUCKING MISERABLE LYING PIECE OF SHIT DESERVES TO BE THROWN OUT OF OFFICE“. Have things really gotten so serious that they prefer to sneer in superiority instead of actually laughing?

And yet these sites cater to our college kids. We are raising a generation of kids that are being trained, by their own culture, to despise their homeland. I refuse to stand with them when the inevitable Revolution comes – even if that means my back goes against the wall, while they shake hands with the radical Muslims who are lying and telling them that they’re willing to give Marxism a shot.

 

Sayings of the Patron Saint Of The American Left

"WARNING: This album contains EVERYTHING your parents hate, EVERYTHING the Church preaches against, and EVERYTHING the government fears. Enjoy."

 

Comics are supposed to be FUNNY, not preachy and self-righteous

So…Local newspaper is running new comics two weeks at a time in funny pages, asking us to send in our opinions as to which should be kept.

My suggestion was to keep OVER THE HEDGE and BIZARRO, and get rid of DOONESBURY and NON SEQUITUR, or at least move them onto the editorials page where they belong.

I mean, we have freedom of speech in this country. Publishing cartoons making fun of Christianity will not get you death threats from angry Christians. But a LOT of times it seems they use that freedom to say things they KNOW you don't want to hear.

Dad: "You told your teacher that math was against our RELIGION?"
Kid (Danae): "No, I said it was against MY religion."
Dad: "Well – You can't arbitrarily invent a belief just because it suits your needs."
Danae: "Oh, okay… So how did all the other religions get started?"
(Awkward silence…)
(That night at the bar)
Drinking buddy: "You converted to WHAT?"
Dad: "Danaeism. At least it's a religion that's HONEST about staying ignorant."

 

This is why I’m glad they warn kids not to watch WONDER SHOWZEN

Global Politics in Thirty Seconds

Follow the Leader

 

Lines from WONDER SHOWZEN, offered without edit or comment

“WARNING: WONDER SHOWZEN CONTAINS OFFENSIVE, DESPICABLE CONTENT THAT IS TOO CONTROVERSIAL AND TOO AWESOME FOR ACTUAL CHILDREN. THE STARK, UGLY, PROFOUND TRUTHS WONDER SHOWZEN EXPOSES MAY BE SOUL-CRUSHING TO THE WEAK OF SPIRIT. IF YOU ALLOW A CHILD TO WATCH THIS SHOW, YOU ARE A BAD PARENT OR GUARDIAN.” (In background: “Don’t eat my baby! Don’t eat my baby!”)

“I like sparkles. And porno.”

“Chicken dinners make me strong so I can yell louder.”

“Why don’t you avoid the middleman and just give your Social Security check to the mob?”

“I think warthogs are beautiful, but people say I’m ugly. I guess that makes me stupid.”

WHAT IS HEAVEN?
“Heaven is when you order six nuggets and they give you a seventh. And a switchblade.”
“I’ll never know.”
“A day without my PILLS. PILLS PILLS PILLS PILLS PILLS!!”
“Heaven is where drunk daddies drive off to.”
“Ask my cellmate.”
“When you mix up the letters of HEAVEN you get DEATH’S DESIGN.”

“I spell ‘freedom’ B-S!“

“Some of the animals here have better living conditions than people in most Third World countries.”

“Dear Jesus, GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE. Amen.”

“You’re never too young to have a Vietnam flashback.”

“Can you justify capitalism in three words or less?”

“That’s what my dog did. In my hands.”
“That’s what my grandma once did on the coffee table. We rubbed her nose in it.”

WHAT IS LOVE?
“A neurochemical con job.”
“A new product?”
“Who cares! I’m going to Cabo! WOOO!! (I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself…)”

“These kids think I can actually read! Idiots.”

“I do impressions. Can I do one of you? Gamble, gamble, gamble, die.”

“I never never wanna grow up
Old people make me wanna throw up…“

Nazi to cowboy: “Whose hat represents more oppression, yours or mine?”

IF YOU HAD ONE WISH WHAT WOULD IT BE?
“I just want to punch God in the face.”
“I wish I had my innocence back.”
“I want my mom and dad back together… in Hell.”

“I never thought about shaving my beard or setting the slaves free. But I did think about shaving the slaves and setting my beard free!”

“So life is getting hard for you. Your parents aren’t getting along and they’re getting a divorce. …LOSER! HA HA HA HA HA!! LOSER!!!“

“Hey! There’s my maid! And there’s my other maid! They’re always speaking that maid language… Espanol.”

“I got some letters for ya: F-U!”
“I gotta number for you: number TWO…on your CHEST, beyotch!”

“If a bully is mean to you, don’t be mean back. Kill ‘em with kindness.”

“I haven’t seen that many dead slave owners in a long time.”

WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?
“Negligence.”
“Abusive fathers.”
“Ignored prayers.”
“Carelessness.”
“The desire for welfare.”
“I can’t tell you, but I saw a picture of it. I’ll spell it for you: B-U-T.”

“When did you sell your conscience?”

“I developed a crush on my sister.”

“And on the seventh day, God did body shots.”

WHY IS AMERICA NUMBER ONE?
“We may not be the most intellegent nation, but we sure is the smartest!”
“White wine, white women and hate crimes.”

“Burn, economy, burn!”

“Hot dogs give me strength to fight off my daddy.”

“White people havin’ fun
Global domination over everyone
White people smile so bright
Genocide for everyone that isn’t wh-i-ite
White people
Whi-i-ite people
You’re killing yourselves“

“Today’s Wonder Showzen was brought to you by Whitey’s God-tastic God Sauce. Lordy, that Lord meat is ass-kickin hot!”